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Moving towards positivity.

Following my last post, I’ve decided to stop procrastinating and stop thinking ‘what if?’.  It’s time for positivity! It’s time to do!!! I’ve actually made a decision to just go for it and get back into the working world.

The thought of going back to work…

As a mum to two boys, I find this so daunting. There are so many insecurities that emerge when you’re a stay at home mum that hasn’t been to work for a few years. Am I good enough? Can I still do this? How will this work around school holidays? Will I have to start from the bottom, again? Do I try something new? The questions feel endless and there’s a whole world of overwhelm.

It’s taken me a while to get to this point, because of all of those questions… and a few more I’ve not added. I’ve talked myself through them and I feel confident that now is my time. So what’s stopping me?! Well, coming back from such a long break is hard! I’ve found that since having my son, there are a lot of people who start to talk down to you in an overly sympathetic tone. Irritating! Having a child didn’t make me any less intelligent.

The ‘Mum Barrier’

So, before Boo, I was always successful in anything I put my mind to. I worked hard, I went that extra mile when needed, I networked… I HUSTLED! My days rarely finished at 6pm when work was over, it was then on to promote my tech website and connect with people. Life was busy. Re-connecting with people after 6 or so years has proven to me that I was a good networker and surprisingly to me, I was apparently memorable.

There’s unfortunately a problem I keep encountering… The Mum Barrier. Being a mum has made it incredibly hard for me to get past initial conversations. Potential employers quite clearly find it a complete turn off. You could say this is all in my head. Sure! But I’ve found that people have been really interested in me until I reveal that I have two boys 6 and 13.

I have had a good few conversations where people have said they will speak to their teams, they’re keen etc. etc. and once I have made the ‘big reveal’, they completely U-turn and become completely non- committal, voicing concerns about full time hours and dedication. Bear in mind, not at any point have I ever said I can’t do full time or put the hours in. This kind of interaction infuriates me.

Dumbing Down

I’ve also found that after having my son, people who once spoke to me on a level seem to readjust their opinions and start to become incredibly condescending. Having a child hasn’t dumbed me down, people! If anything, it has made me a much more rounded person than I once was! I am even more fiercely ambitious than I ever was. I want to be an exemplary example to my boys. I want them to have a successful mum and dad that they can look up to and aspire to be like, whilst spending quality family time with them and living a fulfilling life.

So, What Now?

Well… I have big news, that I would like to post separately to this. It’s big. It’s exciting. It could be life changing!!! So, I want to give it the platform it deserves. Prior to this, I did apply for a couple of jobs. Everything was very positive, until I dropped the child bombshell. But I won’t let this knock me down. I will get right back up, as I have done, and this time, I will show these people who they missed out on! Positivity breeds positivity and that has been proven to me so many times over this week! I am happy to say that in the past few days I have met some of the most motivated and positive people ever, and I have no doubt that with these people gunning for me, I can really hit my goals and achieve my dreams! You all know who you are!!! 🙂

If you follow me on social media, you’ll know what my big news is, but in the mean time, I will write up about how inspiring this week has been and, indeed, what the big news actually is.

Swanny xx

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