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Losing my identity…

I never intended this to be a Mumma blog, but it certainly seems to be going in that direction at the moment. I guess it’s because I have so many Mum related bits and bobs floating around my brain that I just need to get off my chest.

So, I’ve been blogging since 2003 – OLD SKOOL! Anyway… Many moons ago, back in 2009, I created my technology review site, Girls n Gadgets. It was really well received and I even won a few awards and I have been lucky enough to be featured in glossy mags, TV adverts and I was even named a ‘Remarkable Woman’ by Nokia. I spent many a night a PR events and became well known on the technology and start up scene.

Gosh, all that seems so far away now. Since having a child, people’s attitudes seem to have changed towards me. I’m not able to attend a PR event on a days notice and I’m not able to drink until the early hours anymore. Even if I could, I don’t think my body could take it anymore.

These days, I don’t think people take me as seriously as before. I’m just as serious about making a success of myself and my website as I’ve always been. Unfortunately in the past couple of years I was held back by my health and this has made me wonder if people find me unreliable? This really saddens me as all of that was completely unavoidable.

Identity-WhoAreYou-Musalad1Yes, I think a child changes your life and certainly for the better. I wouldn’t’ have changed a thing, but why must having a child mean that you’ve dumbed down somehow? I’m just as motivated, if not more so, now I have a family. I’m not stupid and I have ambition and a child does not hold this back.

I don’t want to be known as a mumpreneur or anything mum related in the work place. I want to be known for me and what I can do. As a Mum, I know I do a good job, but it doesn’t need to come into my professional career. What’s important is that I can be an excellent Mum and a successful woman at the same time without neglecting either duties.

I know this is going to be a bit of a controversial post, but I feel strongly about my identity.

Published inFamilyLife


  1. I can totally relate to this. I have always had drive and ambition but since having children I feel they have increased and now I want to do even better for my family, I have a son and two daughters and I want to work hard to show them what they can achieve, but as soon as you mention babies every ones opinion seems to wander. I balance four businesses (two are mine and 2 my husbands) and run a home and I know lots of others ladies who do too, I think that makes us badass 😉

    • swanny swanny

      You are definitely Badass Michelle! I just don’t understand why those without kids seem to change their views once a child enters the equation! Onwards and upwards I think x

  2. I have found it incredibly hard at times to juggle a professional job and being a Mum, and not just the practicalities. Thanks for acknowledging it! I’d like to have taken a bit of a back seat for a few years and then step up again, but feared that the opportunity to step up in the future might not come, so I’ve stuck it out and in some ways we’ve all benefited. Lots of soul searching and learning new things about myself along the way! #picknmix

    • swanny swanny

      I think it can be difficult to acknowledge these things though. It’s not easy to admit that you;re not as cool as you used to be, lol. On a serious note, I think we mum’s do a bloody good job and it should be more noticed than it is. It’s just expected I guess x

  3. I would look at it as not losing your identity, but evolving it. When the little uns come along, we develop a whole different side of us that we didn’t think was possible. It takes a while to find that groove again and it is not impossible to re-establish yourself in the niche you started off in. There are not enough women in tech so go for it!!

    • swanny swanny

      I think you make a great point! This is what I’m trying to do at the moment. I’ll let you know how I get on 🙂 x

  4. I had my children early on before I ever started a proper career, so the Mum side of my life has always been the main part. Due to one of my sons having health issues I didn’t work for years, my blog is a bit of a Mum blog but not entirely… its a big part of who I am now though so its bound to get mixed in. My blog has given me back my confidence, drive and a new focus though and I am amazed what a difference that has made to my life 🙂

    Thanks for linking up to #Picknmix

    Stevie x

  5. I get what you mean and I was talking about this sort of thing to my other half the other night. It’s a shame that you feel people don’t take you as seriously anymore, more fool them! Thanks for linking up to #HappyDaysLinky x

  6. Totally agree with Tara. I don’t feel like I am dumbed-down for being a mummy at all. It is an extra string to my bow. Thanks for sharing in #HappyDaysLinky x

  7. I think becoming a mum is hard as you lose your sense of identity and I know with six months at home it feels like a decade since I was in work and feel like I’m losing my career I worked so hard for.
    I get where you’re coming from and don’t blame you for wanting to separate being a mum and being you

  8. Kat Kat

    I agree with this so much. I think as admirable as ‘mumpreneur’ is…that’s just not who I am and that’s not what I want to be known as. I just want to be me! #brillblogposts

  9. Liz Liz

    I do too! Yes, I now have a kid, but I am just as capable of doing my job. I think the Mompreneur title, while meant to be empowering, can sometimes come across as patronizing. Like, good for you for leaving the house and doing a little business mom, pat on the head. Anyway, I also feel that I have lost a bit of my identity. It is hard, because I know I am good at my job. #brilliantblogposts

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