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Moving towards positivity.

Posted on 22nd February 201824th April 2020 by swanny

Following my last post, I’ve decided to stop procrastinating and stop thinking ‘what if?’.  It’s time for positivity! It’s time to do!!! I’ve actually made a decision to just go for it and get back into the working world.

The thought of going back to work…

As a mum to two boys, I find this so daunting. There are so many insecurities that emerge when you’re a stay at home mum that hasn’t been to work for a few years. Am I good enough? Can I still do this? How will this work around school holidays? Will I have to start from the bottom, again? Do I try something new? The questions feel endless and there’s a whole world of overwhelm.

It’s taken me a while to get to this point, because of all of those questions… and a few more I’ve not added. I’ve talked myself through them and I feel confident that now is my time. So what’s stopping me?! Well, coming back from such a long break is hard! I’ve found that since having my son, there are a lot of people who start to talk down to you in an overly sympathetic tone. Irritating! Having a child didn’t make me any less intelligent.

The ‘Mum Barrier’

So, before Boo, I was always successful in anything I put my mind to. I worked hard, I went that extra mile when needed, I networked… I HUSTLED! My days rarely finished at 6pm when work was over, it was then on to promote my tech website and connect with people. Life was busy. Re-connecting with people after 6 or so years has proven to me that I was a good networker and surprisingly to me, I was apparently memorable.

There’s unfortunately a problem I keep encountering… The Mum Barrier. Being a mum has made it incredibly hard for me to get past initial conversations. Potential employers quite clearly find it a complete turn off. You could say this is all in my head. Sure! But I’ve found that people have been really interested in me until I reveal that I have two boys 6 and 13.

I have had a good few conversations where people have said they will speak to their teams, they’re keen etc. etc. and once I have made the ‘big reveal’, they completely U-turn and become completely non- committal, voicing concerns about full time hours and dedication. Bear in mind, not at any point have I ever said I can’t do full time or put the hours in. This kind of interaction infuriates me.

Dumbing Down

I’ve also found that after having my son, people who once spoke to me on a level seem to readjust their opinions and start to become incredibly condescending. Having a child hasn’t dumbed me down, people! If anything, it has made me a much more rounded person than I once was! I am even more fiercely ambitious than I ever was. I want to be an exemplary example to my boys. I want them to have a successful mum and dad that they can look up to and aspire to be like, whilst spending quality family time with them and living a fulfilling life.

So, What Now?

Well… I have big news, that I would like to post separately to this. It’s big. It’s exciting. It could be life changing!!! So, I want to give it the platform it deserves. Prior to this, I did apply for a couple of jobs. Everything was very positive, until I dropped the child bombshell. But I won’t let this knock me down. I will get right back up, as I have done, and this time, I will show these people who they missed out on! Positivity breeds positivity and that has been proven to me so many times over this week! I am happy to say that in the past few days I have met some of the most motivated and positive people ever, and I have no doubt that with these people gunning for me, I can really hit my goals and achieve my dreams! You all know who you are!!! 🙂

If you follow me on social media, you’ll know what my big news is, but in the mean time, I will write up about how inspiring this week has been and, indeed, what the big news actually is.

Swanny xx

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    Thanks for visiting my blog! I'm Leila, wife and mum to two boys on the spectrum. I'm best known as a tech blogger, but can also be found sharing my views on  motherhood and lifestyle. I'm passionate about raising awareness about special needs and I'm keen to change the stigma around children and adults with needs. 

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